How to Write Wedding Vows: A Step-by-Step Guide for Couples
- Honeybee Weddings
- Jul 22
- 9 min read
How to Write Wedding Vows
Hey girl, hey! So, you’re getting married (cue the confetti!), and now it’s time to tackle one of the most special parts of your wedding day—your vows!! These are the words that will set the tone for your marriage, the promises you’ll make, and the feelings you’ll hold onto forever. No pressure, right?!
If you're staring at a blank page, feeling like your brain just clocked out, don’t worry. Same girl! I remember writing my vows feeling completely at a LOSS of what to write. I mean, how could I POSSIBLY come up with something as complete and meaningful as my relationship with my then fiancé (now husband)?! Writing your vows can feel overwhelming because you want them to be heartfelt, unique, and a reflection of your love story—not some cookie-cutter speech that sounds like it was copied from a rom-com script.
That’s exactly why I put together this vow-writing mini workshop! Think of it as your step-by-step guide to crafting vows that feel natural, meaningful, and totally YOU. Whether you’re a poet at heart or someone who barely texts in full sentences (guiltyyyyy), this guide will help you write vows that capture the magic of your relationship—without the stress! Because we all know that getting married and can stressful!
So grab a cozy blanket, pour yourself a cup of whatever you like, and let’s dive in to how to write wedding vows!
Step 1: Walk Down Memory Lane
What to say in your wedding vows? Think about the moments that matter the most to you, what makes you love your partner, and what promises you want to make. Be yourself, and you’ll be fine!
Before you put pen to paper, and a great place to start before thinking about how to write wedding vows, is to take a moment to reflect on your journey as a couple. For inspiration on how to personalize your wedding experience, check out the 2025 Montana Wedding Trends.
Your vows should be personal, and the best way to make them uniquely yours is to pull inspiration from your own love story. For more tips on writing vows that set your marriage up for success, check out this helpful guide.
Your wedding day is a once-in-a-lifetime moment for you, the bride and groom, but your love story didn’t start here—it’s been building over time, through small moments, big milestones, and everything in between. The best vows remind you why you fell in love in the first place and highlight the foundation of your relationship. Think about the first time you met, what made you stop and really SEE each other, and how your relationship evolved. Was it slow and steady, or an instant spark that neither of you could ignore?
Beyond the big moments, consider the little things that make your relationship so special. What does your partner do that makes your day better without even trying? Maybe it’s how they bring you coffee in the morning or how they always know the perfect thing to say when you’re stressed. Maybe it's how they leave literally allllll the drawers in the house open, but you kinda love it about them (ifkyk). These tiny details are what make your love unique, and they belong in your vows.
Questions to Consider
How did you first meet, and what were your first impressions?
What’s one unforgettable moment you've shared together?
When did you realize, "Yep, this is my person"?
What obstacles have you conquered as a couple, and how did they make you stronger?
What are the little (or big) things you adore most about your partner?
If you're looking for more ideas or want some additional guidance, check out these great resources on how to craft your own vows.
Step 2: Make Your Promises Count
Now that you’ve taken a trip down memory lane, it’s time to get to the heart of your vows: the promises.
Wedding vows aren’t just about declaring your love—they’re about making commitments that last long after the last dance is over and the sparkler send-off fades, and the ceremony becomes a cherished memory. These are the words you’ll come back to on the tough days, the ones that will remind you why you chose each other when life gets messy.
What are the 7 promises of marriage? Your promises should reflect the reality of marriage—not just the dreamy, Instagram-worthy moments... even though I do love capturing those as you can see HERE, but the everyday life you’re building together. What do you want to bring to this partnership? Think about how you want to show up for your person, what kind of support you’ll offer, and the ways you’ll choose them again and again. Love is a feeling, yes, but it’s also a choice you make every day.
Your vows can be serious, sweet, lighthearted, or a mix of all three. Maybe you promise to be their rock through life’s ups and downs, to always support their dreams, or to remind them how loved they are, even on the hard days. And let’s be real—sometimes, the best promises are the ones that bring a little personality into the mix. If you know your marriage will involve a lot of road trips, hiking, or debating the best place to get a burger, you can absolutely work those moments into your vows.
Things to Think About When Writing your Vows
What do you vow to always do for your partner?
How will you be their rock in the highs and the lows?
What daily acts of love will you commit to?
Are there any playful, sweet, or inside-joke vows you want to sprinkle in?
Step 3: Picture Your Forever
Now that you’ve looked back on your journey and made promises for today as we look into how to write wedding vows, it’s time to look ahead to the future you’re building together.
Marriage isn’t just about the present moment—it’s about the life you’re creating together. Including your hopes, dreams, and vision for the future in your vows makes them even more meaningful. It shows that you’re not just committing to the person your partner is today, but to the person they will grow into over time.
When you close your eyes and picture your future together, what do you see? Maybe you dream of cozy nights in a home you built together, exploring new places, or supporting each other’s biggest goals. What kind of traditions do you want to create? If you're looking for guidance on how to start, this step-by-step guide offers some great tips for getting started with writing your vows. What values do you want to build your life on? These are the things that will shape your future, and they deserve a place in your vows.
Questions to Reflect On
What do you see for your life together in 5, 10, or 50 years?
How will you keep growing as partners and individuals?
What traditions, values, or dreams do you want to build together?
Need a little inspiration on how to express your future vision? Here are some helpful guides.
Step 4: Map Out Your Vows
Now that you’ve gathered your thoughts, it’s time to organize them into a cohesive flow. Mapping out your vows is like creating a roadmap for your love story—keeping it clear and meaningful while also allowing space for emotion. Start by reflecting on the structure of your vows:
Start with a personal story: Think about a memorable moment from your relationship—how you met, a special trip, or a milestone you’ve shared. This sets the tone for your vows and makes them feel personal and genuine. While you’re reflecting on these moments, don’t forget to choose the right songs to set the tone for your ceremony. Need some inspiration? Check out our list of the best songs for your wedding.
Share what you love most: What qualities do you adore most about your partner? What makes them the one you want to spend your life with? This part should feel heartfelt and focused on why your partner is so important to you.
Make your promises: This is the heart of your vows. What are you committing to for your partner? These promises will reflect your values, intentions, and the way you plan to show up in your relationship for the long haul.
Look ahead: Share your vision for the future. This can include dreams you have for your life together—building a home, growing a family, or creating new traditions.
Seal it with love: End with a closing line that feels meaningful to you. It could be an emotional sentiment or a lighthearted note, but it should leave a lasting impression on both you and your partner.
Taking the time to map out your vows ensures you don’t miss anything important and keeps the flow natural. If you find yourself getting too wordy, go back and simplify. You want your vows to feel authentic and true to the love you share.
Step 5: Polish & Perfect
Dang we are almost done with how to write wedding vows!! Once you’ve mapped out your vows, it’s time to refine them. This step is where you make sure everything sounds perfect and feels ready to deliver with confidence.
Read through and revise: First, read your vows aloud to yourself. This helps you get a feel for how they’ll sound when spoken. Pay attention to pacing—if any part feels rushed or too long, adjust accordingly. Simplify any complicated sentences or overused phrases. Your vows should sound like you, not a script.
Check for flow: Does your vow flow from one point to the next, or do you feel like you’re jumping around too much? Make sure there’s a natural progression from your story to your promises and your vision for the future. If something feels out of place, tweak it until it feels seamless.
Ensure a good balance of tone: While it’s important to be heartfelt, you want to avoid being overly formal or stiff. Your vows should reflect your true self, and this may include some lighthearted moments, humor, or even a little quirk. Whether you’re going for something deeply romantic or sweetly funny, find that balance that resonates with you both.
Consider the length: Keep in mind the typical length of vows (2–3 minutes when spoken). If they’re too short, consider adding more details or promises. If they’re too long, trim down sections that repeat or wander off-topic.
Practice makes perfect: Once you’re happy with your vows, practice saying them out loud until you feel comfortable. As you practice, it might feel awkward at first, but as you get more comfortable, the words will come more naturally.
This step of polishing is about getting your vows just right—making sure they’re heartfelt, impactful, and uniquely yours. Don't rush it!! When your vows reflect your true emotions and your relationship, they’ll be unforgettable. For more background on marriage vows and their significance, check out this detailed overview.
What is an example of writing your wedding vows? Here’s one quick example: “I vow to love you through every high and low, every laugh and tear, and every adventure that comes our way. I will always be your biggest supporter, your confidant, and your home, no matter where life leads us.”
Want more extra inspiration to make sure your vows are perfect? I gotchu!!
Final Touch: Practice & Prepare
You’ve written your vows—now it’s time to polish them! This step ensures you feel confident and your vows flow smoothly on the big day. Use this framework when it comes to how to write wedding vows:
1. Read Your Vows Out Loud
Reading your vows aloud helps you catch any awkward phrasing or sections that don’t sound right. If something doesn’t feel natural, adjust it! This is your moment, so make sure the words reflect you.
2. Time Yourself
Aim for your vows to be 2–3 minutes long. Time yourself as you read them aloud to ensure they fit the moment. If they’re too long, trim down the extra details. If they’re too short, add a heartfelt promise.
3. Print a Copy (or Have a Keepsake Version)
Having a printed copy or keepsake version on hand can give you peace of mind. You don’t want to be scrambling for your vows during the ceremony. Plus, it makes for a special memento!
4. Practice in Front of a Mirror (or with a Friend)
Practicing in front of a mirror or a friend can help you feel more confident. It also lets you check your body language, making sure you’re standing tall and comfortable while speaking.
5. Have a Backup Plan
Accidents happen! Make sure you have a backup plan for your vows. Whether it’s a printed copy or a friend holding onto your vows, being prepared will keep you stress-free on your wedding day.
Pro Tip: Your videographer can include your vows in your wedding video, so you can always look back on those words and relive the moment. Cue the happy tears!
Last Minute Thoughts
Learning how to write wedding vows doesn’t have to be stressful! Let your love story lead the way, and remember: your vows don’t need to be perfect—they just need to be you.
Need a little extra help with wedding planning? We’ve got you covered! Download our free Wedding Planning Checklist to stay organized and stress-free as you plan your big day! Grab your copy HERE and start checking things off your list! OR schedule a call to chat HERE!
If you’re dreaming of a stunning outdoor wedding, check out this wedding guide at Glacier National Park or Yellowstone National Park wedding info for all the details on how to tie the knot in one of the most beautiful places in the world.
Now go write those vows! You’re gonna crush it!
Comments